The Magna Sententia Podcast: Episode 6

The Magna Sententia Podcast with Anna and Ellie Sherise. Hosted by Rodger McMillan.

This week:

• Guilt & Forgiveness
• “Hacked E-Mails Fuel Global Warming Debate” (Wired.com)
• “Lambert’s Album Sells Well In Wake Of Controversy” (CNN.com)
• “Swiss: Polanski In Jail Until At Least Monday” (AP)

Download Episode 6

Ask Anna & Ellie: Holiday Gatherings & Dietary Restrictions

Dear Anna and Ellie:

I read that Ellie has celiac disease and thought you might be the person to ask how I should handle next week’s Thanksgiving dinner. Many of the family and friends that are coming to our house have some type of dietary restriction, and I am getting overwhelmed with all of the special dishes I will need to make. How can I respect their needs and maintain my sanity?

I was thinking of having everyone bring a dish they could eat and I will supply the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetable. Does that sound reasonable or will they think I am being a lazy host?

–Too Many Dishes To Cook

Dear Too Many Dishes To Cook:

It is very thoughtful of you to be so cognizant of the dietary restrictions of your family and friends, and this will surely make all of your guests feel welcome. However, you also need to take care of yourself, which means not going crazy trying to fulfill everyone else’s needs. Reaching a balance as host can be tricky, but it can be done, especially if both hosts and guests remember that what really counts is being together, showing appreciation for one another, and having fun.

Preparing dishes to meet dietary restrictions that are not your own can be extremely difficult and stressful, particularly if the other person’s diet is not widely known, intricate, and critical to his or her health (that is a lot of responsibility!). For instance, it may be easier to recognize recipes that are suitable for your lactose intolerant uncle and vegetarian sister than it is to find one for your celiac cousin. Personally, for Thanksgiving (and all other gatherings), Ellie does not expect her family and friends to take it upon themselves to cook for her because there are hidden sources of gluten everywhere and she has a bad reaction from even slight cross-contamination. That would be too much to ask! Instead, she will bring along a dish or two that she can eat and share.

As a host, your duty is make your guests feel welcome, which means acknowledging their dietary restrictions and being as accommodating as is realistic. This does not mean providing a dish for every dietary restriction. Tell your family and friends with special diets that you are aware of their needs and want them to feel comfortable, and since you will be providing the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetable, they can bring anything else they would like to enjoy.

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Magna Sententia Mondays: “Have A Healthy Sense Of Shame”

Every Monday, we explore a concept of Magna Sententia.

Today’s Axiom:

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

The following is an excerpt from Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society by Anna and Ellie Sherise:

Have A Healthy Sense Of Shame

Currently in society, there is no shame, and in fact, shame has become a dirty word. Experts advise adults not to shame children for fear of hurting their self-esteem, but the truth is, all children need their self-esteem hurt once in a while. Of course, it is irresponsible, reprehensible, and contrary to Magna Sententia to physically beat or mentally scar children; still, it is actually healthy for them to be constructively punished and shamed for behaving selfishly or disrespectfully.

All people need to be ashamed of themselves when they mistreat others or act inappropriately, yet there are many individuals who never feel badly about themselves or their behavior, even though they are mean, rude, self-centered, or insulting. It is really no wonder that children and adults are shooting up schools and places of business, as no one has been taught shame.

Self-respect is illogical unless it is warranted. Part of the Axiom of Respect is respecting only those who earn it. This applies to you as well: Only respect you if you earn it.

Real friends are honest with one another and do not permit destructive or inappropriate behavior. Do the same for yourself: If you hurt others, feel badly. If you lose your temper and speak cruelly, be ashamed. In our society, almost everyone has an excuse for his or her poor behavior. They neglect their parental responsibilities because their first husband left them with three children. They murder fellow students and teachers because they were teased in high school. They commit crimes because they had bad parents.

Moreover, certain individuals blame everything and everybody else for their own lack of success instead of putting one foot in front of the other and making a better life for themselves. In general, success is directly correlated to hard work, and people who spew jealousy over someone else’s success would be better off being quiet and trying harder. Individuals, self-help books, counselors, and other resources that attribute poor behavior to someone or something else make self-respect an illusion. People cannot truly respect themselves if they do not have a healthy sense of shame about their shortcomings and learn from their failures.

The Magna Sententia Podcast: Episode 5

The Magna Sententia Podcast with Anna and Ellie Sherise. Hosted by Rodger McMillan.

This week:

• The Sherise Method: Release
• “Sniper Who Terrorized Washington Area Is Executed” (Reuters)
• “Massachusetts Man Says He Was Fired For Telling Colleague Her Gay Marriage Is Wrong” (FOXNews.com)
• Magna Sententia & Religion
• “Fort Hood Victims: Sons, A daughter, A Mother-To-Be” (CNN.com)
• “Fort Hood Gunman Awake And Talking As Its Revealed He ‘Attended Same Mosque In 2001 As September 11 Hijackers’” (Daily Mail)

Download Episode 5

Free Writing Fridays: Hooking Up Is For Sluts, Not Feminists

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

Yesterday, I read the article “Hooking Up For Sex: Sluts Or New Feminists?” and have been thinking about it ever since. As a 48-year-old woman who has been married nearly 30 years with three grown children, a business degree, and a deep desire to help our society, I would like to join the conversation about this “new kind of feminism” where women defend their “right to have sex whenever and with whomever they choose.” I grew up in the 1960’s and 70’s and have seen our nation change from having a generally traditional culture to our culture of today, and while there have been a number of great improvements, for the most part, I do not like what I see. In fact, I believe that our society is currently headed down a road to some extremely difficult times.

First, I want you to know where I am coming from: I am not affiliated with an organized religion because I believe that such institutions can be extremely rigid, hypocritical, and unloving. Politically, I am neither conservative nor liberal. I believe in fiscal responsibility and social equality; therefore, I do not fit in either major party. I was a stay-at-home mother for 15 years and believe that children are best raised by their parents, not daycare centers or schools. However, I believe women should enjoy every opportunity men take for granted and will be happy when the “glass ceiling” is broken on every level. I am not a traditionalist, and I am not a feminist.

To me, feminism has helped to create both good and bad in our society. Feminism has made it possible for all women to be free to pursue every career. Further, woman today can be independent and live their lives for themselves. In addition, men now play a more active role in raising children and running the home, which benefits parents and children, resulting in stronger familial bonds.

On the other hand, I believe that in many ways, feminism has also been devastating for children and male-female relationships. Countless women no longer value the vital role of being a mother (not just giving birth, but actively mothering children), and because of this, we now have a nation of children without character, a work ethic, communication skills, a sense of responsibility, or social graces. Moreover, relationships have become disposable, and a lot of women think “empowered” means cutting down men for being masculine.

To me, these “new feminists” are nothing more than sluts who are so delusional that they don’t even know they should be ashamed of themselves. They are not good for other women, men, or our country in general. It is completely illogical to believe that you can have casual sex without physical or emotional consequences, and as for the casual sex double standard, women should be pushing for men to also be labeled as “sluts” and “whores” for engaging in this type of behavior, instead of encouraging this ridiculous notion that “a real woman uses her sexuality in any way she pleases.” Additionally, we do not have to limit ourselves to the extremes of abstinence and promiscuity. There is a middle ground of making sure you know someone long enough before sleeping with him or her so that your sexual relationships remain meaningful.

Perhaps it is time for woman to embrace their femininity, intelligence, and valuable role in making our nation, families, and relationships strong.

Anna Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Magna Sententia Mondays: “Exercising Parenthood”

Every Monday, we explore a concept of Magna Sententia.

Today’s Axiom:

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

The following is an excerpt from Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society by Anna and Ellie Sherise:

Exercising Parenthood

Many individuals treat parenthood as a biological state, rather than a serious responsibility. In contrast, Magna Sententia advocates exercising parenthood, which means that parents actively participate in their children’s upbringing and are involved in every aspect of childrearing. When parents exercise parenthood, they do not delegate any of their responsibilities to daycare centers, schools, extracurricular activities, employees, relatives, friends, or any other person besides themselves. While parents may utilize these resources to enhance their children’s development, these resources are not ultimately responsible for their children. Therefore, parents cannot expect other people, an institution, or program to raise their children for them.

As the Axiom of Responsibility indicates, parents demonstrate valid behavior by taking responsibility for their children. In addition to providing the fundamentals of food, clothing, shelter, and medical attention, all parents living according to Magna Sententia are the directors of their homes and establish close relationships with their children. These parents raise their children to have character and instill in them the value of education and a work ethic.

The Magna Sententia Podcast: Episode 4

The Magna Sententia Podcast with Anna and Ellie Sherise. Hosted by Rodger McMillan.

This week:

• The Sherise Method: Rectify
• “Four Teens Arraigned In California Gang-Rape Case” (Agence France-Presse)
• “Richmond Gang Rape Seen As Nearly Inevitable” (SFGate.com)
• “Cellphones, Texts And Lovers” (NYTimes.com)
• “Obama Coaxes States To Change With School Dollars” (AP)
• “In Defense Of Extreme Pornography” (Reason.com)
• “Conscious Capitalism” (FlowIdealism.org)

Download Episode 4

Ask Anna & Ellie: Holidays & Divorce, To Tell Or Not To Tell?

Dear Anna and Ellie:

My wife and I have been married for nine years and have had trouble for the past three. We have three children ages, 8, 5, and 3. We decided a few months ago that we are going to divorce and I am certain that is the best option. In fact, ever since we made our decision, we have started to get along better. Keeping our marriage together was just too much pressure. We are talking about custody, our finances, and everything else and we are able to reach compromises on almost every subject – but we don’t know how to handle the upcoming holidays.

Our families are close and get along well. We are afraid that our divorce is really going to upset everyone. We always go to her sister’s house on Christmas Eve, our parents and siblings come to our house on Thanksgiving, and we thought it would be best to not tell anyone until January so that the holidays are not all upset for everyone.

What do you think of our plan? My wife hates to lie to our families, but I think we are saving them from feeling bad and also giving our kids a nice Christmas.

–Soon To Be Divorced

Dear Soon To Be Divorced:

Before we discuss whether it would be better for you and your wife to announce your divorce now or after the holidays, we have to ask: Are you absolutely, without question, beyond a shadow of a doubt certain that divorce is really the best option? Only you and your wife can truly answer this question. There are many couples who quit too soon, looking for greener pastures when the going gets rough and never fully realizing the benefits of long-term commitment; then again, there are other couples who don’t quit soon enough, wasting years of their lives in an unhappy relationship and fooling no one (children know whether or not their parents love one another). Divorce may in fact be the best option for the two of you, but if there is any part of either of you who feels like you would like to give your marriage one last shot, please speak up and see if you can work it out!

All of that said, it sounds as though you and your wife are really handling the situation well. Children are exceptionally hurt by divorce when their parents belittle and badmouth one another, making them feel like they have to “choose sides.” We commend both of you for working together to reach compromises on matters that often end up to be bitter, ugly battles. By keeping your divorce amicable, you are taking responsibility for your children and doing them a world of good.

It is wonderful that your families are close, and we know that you and your wife are only thinking of your families in your plan not to tell anyone of your divorce until January. Unfortunately, we believe withholding this information may actually do more harm than good. Yes, everyone may have a “nice Christmas” (Don’t kid yourselves: Your children are going to know something is up and others probably will too.); however, when you do make your announcement, there is a great chance that your families will be hurt because you didn’t tell them right away. In many cases, not telling feels as much of a betrayal as an outright lie.

Tell your families as soon as possible. It may be difficult, but it is better for all of your relationships. (Trying to keep up appearances may even further strain your relationship with your wife.) Remember that just because you tell them now, it doesn’t mean you have to take action immediately. You can still wait until January to separate and start legal proceedings.

We wish you and your family the best in handling this very difficult situation. Please contact us if there is anything more we can do.

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Magna Sententia Mondays: Being A Good Employee

Every Monday, we will explore a concept of Magna Sententia.

Today’s Axiom:

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

The following is an excerpt from Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society by Anna and Ellie Sherise:

How Not To Be The Employee Of The Month

• Do not show up, and do not notify your employer that you will be absent.
• Arrive late.
• Come to work drunk or high.
• Attend meetings unprepared.
• Gossip about management and co-workers at the water cooler.
• Surf the Internet, make personal calls, balance your checkbook, plan your wedding, or file your nails on company time.
• Take long lunches every day.
• Sleep at your desk.
• Do substandard work, and take your time doing it.
• Disobey direct orders from management.
• Ignore safety rules.
• Steal office supplies and equipment.
• Destroy company property.
• Punch your co-worker.
• Sexually harass your subordinates.
• Lie about how many hours you worked.
• Embezzle funds from your employer and its clients.
• Walk off the job.

For further reading on this subject, check out “Uh Oh – You Said THAT At Work?”