Free Writing Fridays: Chris Brown Sentenced For Assault

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

“Pop singer Chris Brown was sentenced Tuesday to serve five years probation and to spend more than 1,400 hours in ‘labor-oriented service’ for assaulting his pop star girlfriend, Rihanna.” (“Brown Sentenced For Rihanna Assault; Other Incidents Surface“)

Unsurprisingly, a “probation report” revealed that Brown and Rihanna were involved in two previous incidents of domestic violence:

“The first incident occurred in Europe about three months before the present offense,” the report said. “The victim [Rihanna] and the defendant [Brown] were involved in a verbal dispute and the victim [Rihanna] slapped the defendant [Brown]. He responded by shoving her into a wall.”

Another incident happened in January, three weeks before the Hollywood incident, when Brown and Rihanna were visiting her home country of Barbados, the report said.

“The defendant [Brown] and the victim [Rihanna] were visiting Barbados and were driving a Range Rover loaned to them by a local dealership,” the investigator wrote. “They had an argument inside the car. The defendant [Brown] exited and broke the front driver and passenger side windows of the car.”

Often in an abusive relationship, the level of violence escalates. Please be aware of early warning signs (controlling behavior, verbal and emotional abuse), and if you are a victim of domestic violence, seek assistance immediately. There are many safe houses throughout our country that can help you escape your abuser. (The number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which is open 24 hours a day in all 50 states, is 1-800-799-SAFE[7233].)

Ellie Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Update: Michael Jackson Died Of Propofol Overdose

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

We finally know the cause of Michael Jackson’s death: “According to court documents released Monday, Dr. Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran, the chief medical examiner-coroner for Los Angeles County, concluded Jackson died of an overdose of propofol,” “a powerful anesthetic.” (“Sleepless Night Preceded Jackson’s Death“) Even though Dr. Sathyavagiswaran’s conclusion confirms what was commonly suspected, for countless fans and admirers, the finality of this news is quite sad.

The propofol, along with doses of Valium, “the anti-anxiety drug lorazepam (known by its brand name, Ativan) and midazolam (known as Versed)” where all administered to Jackson by his personal physician, cardiologist Dr. Conrad Murray, within his final 12 hours. In addition, it seems that Murray waited for a questionable period of time before calling 911 after he noticed Jackson had stopped breathing, and although no criminal charges have yet been filed, many speculate that Murray will soon be arrested for his role in Jackson’s death.

Whether or not Murray’s claims are true that “the singer even called [propofol] his ‘milk’ because of its milky appearance” and on the night of his death, “Jackson was repeatedly asking — even demanding — that Murray give him more propofol to help him sleep,” Murray is still responsible for his actions: As the medical professional who took the Hippocratic Oath, he obviously knew the dangers of what he was doing and should face the consequences.

Nevertheless, it is truly Michael Jackson who is ultimately responsible for his own death. According to Magna Sententia, we all must take responsibility for our actions and our health. This doesn’t mean that we’re problem-free; rather, it means that when we do find ourselves engaging in unhealthy behavior, we take action and get the help we need to overcome our problems. No one is perfect, but there is hope for everyone who is willing to change.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

[For more on Michael Jackson, please see "Michael Jackson Was Many Things, But A 'Good Father'?"]

Ask Anna & Ellie: Rules For Customers & Delivery Personnel

Dear Anna and Ellie:

I am so frustrated with the customers I work with, I would like to walk away from my job tomorrow but of course I can’t do that. I deliver furniture and when we go into people’s homes, I feel like screaming and yelling every day.

Housewives who think they own the world, moan and groan, yell at you for stepping on their carpet, demand that you move all the furniture in the room, not just what you deliver, and then want you to rearrange the furniture if they don’t like the way it looks. Then there’s the men, looking over the furniture like it costs a million dollars and was made to last three lifetimes. If they wanted heirloom quality, why didn’t they buy it, and not the cheap stuff I am delivering to them.

I try to be polite, but as the days go on I am getting more frustrated, and I am having a harder time keeping my cool. Any advice?

–I’m A Delivery Guy, Not An Interior Decorator

Dear Delivery Guy:

While we understand your frustration, please keep in mind that your customers may be overreacting to you because of their prior unpleasant experiences with delivery personnel. Unfortunately, there are delivery personnel who are not the least bit careful, damaging carpet or flooring, the items being delivered, or other furniture. No, it isn’t fair of your customers to take the past out on you, but the fact is that if they’ve already had a negative experience, it is quite likely they will start anxious. The calmer and more patient you are, the easier it will be for them to relax and see that you are different. On the other hand, if you seem frustrated or irritated, you may unintentionally aggravate the situation.

According to Magna Sententia, we must treat others respectfully in all social interactions, and deliveries are a very common social interaction. So how can customers best treat delivery personnel respectfully? And how can delivery personnel best treat customers respectfully?

Customers: Have your homes ready with a route cleared that provides delivery personnel easy access to the area you have prepared for your new furniture. Again, prepare the area for the new furniture before the delivery personnel arrive, rearranging old furniture beforehand when necessary. While it is understandable that you will want to confirm the quality of the items you just received, have reasonable expectations and remember that delivery personnel are not responsible for the faults of their employers (or your choice in furnishings). If furniture arrives damaged, politely ask that the specifics be recorded and for information regarding how their employer (notice their employer, not them) will help resolve your problem.

Delivery Personnel: Be good representatives of your employers by acting in a way that promotes good customer relations. Leave customers’ homes in as close a condition as possible to the way it was when you arrived. To accomplish this, have a clean pair of shoes (or drop cloths or booties) and take extra care not to hurt carpet, flooring, or other items while moving in the new furniture. If you accidentally harm something, promptly apologize and make sure these items are repaired or replaced as quickly as possible. If the furniture you are delivering is damaged, apologize to the customer on behalf of your employer and do what you can to help them resolve the situation.

Thanks so much for your question! It serves as an excellent reminder that we all must be polite and treat one another respectfully when receiving or making a delivery, making it a more pleasant experience for everyone involved.

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Writing Fridays: Maria Shiver’s Eulogy Of Her Mother

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

If you are a mother, I strongly urge you (no matter how old your children, how busy you are, or how frazzled you feel) to watch or read Maria Shriver’s eulogy of her mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver. In a society where the importance of motherhood and raising children well seems to have taken a back seat to materialism, Botox, overzealous feminism, and the joys of sex, Ms. Shriver’s eulogy returns our focus to what is truly valuable in a mother’s (or father’s) life: her (or his) partner and children.

Posted with Vodpod

If you are fortunate enough to have a mother who loves you, disciplines you, is always in your corner and close to you throughout your life, consider yourself abundantly blessed. On the other hand, if you (like so many) do not have a loving mother who set a good example for you, please don’t lose hope. You are not alone. Many women have had abusive, selfish, lazy, alcoholic, or drug-addicted mothers who did nothing for their children but cause them pain and suffering throughout their childhoods and beyond. Moreover, although this can be (and often is) devastating, the key is for you to be the one who breaks the cycle. Regardless of what you’ve been through, you are strong enough to turn away from destructive and/or cruel behavior and mother your children in a loving, honorable way.

It is imperative for the mothers of our nation to understand their vital role in keeping our country strong and families together, and in instilling character and a work ethic in our children. The only job that is equal to being a mother is the job of being a father.

If you struggle with how to be a good mother, or what that means exactly, please seek out resources to help you: counseling, parenting classes, other parents you respect, and books. There are a multitude of books written specifically to help you in this area. In fact, a portion of our book, Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society, is dedicated to explaining the basics of what it means to take responsibility for your children.

Whatever you do, never give up. As Eunice Kennedy Shriver said to her daughter, “I don’t what to hear one more yip out of you, get your job done, and don’t come back until you’re finished.” That is not meant to be harsh, it just shows that as mothers, we have no choice but to work each day to do our best in this critical role and we can never stop, no matter how difficult it gets.

If there is anything Ellie or I can do to help you meet this huge challenge, please contact us. We would be honored to help!

Anna Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Michael Vick Doesn’t Deserve A Second Chance

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

“Once the NFL’s highest-paid player” as quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, Michael Vick was recently released after “[serving] 18 months of a 23-month sentence in federal prison” for “conspiracy and running a dog-fighting ring that brutally killed and tortured canines.” (“Michael Vick’s Second Chance With the Eagles; Now What?“)

What is life like now for Vick, “a man who hanged dogs from trees, electrocuted them with jumper cables, held them underwater until they drowned in his swimming pool, and even threw his own family dogs into the fighting pit to be torn to shreds while he laughed”? The Philadelphia Eagles signed him to a “$1.6 million one-year deal with the team, with an option for a second year.” Not only will he “be able to participate in team practices, meetings and two pre-season games,” but there is also the possibility that on “week six of the regular season,” he will become “eligible for full reinstatement.”

With this decision, the Eagles have made a huge mistake that negatively affects our entire society: Like it or not, because of their high profile playing football and advertising products, professional football players are seen as role models, as well as representatives of America and its culture. Vick does not deserve this honor in any way, shape, or form, and by signing him, the Eagles have put a disgrace to the sport (and humankind) in one of their team’s most important positions.

Being a highly-paid quarterback in the NFL really is an honor: Given the caliber of talent, ability, and level of sportsmanship in the NFL, a spot at the top of the pay scale is quite an honor. Further, the position of quarterback carries the responsibility of team leadership, also an honor. Sadly, many of America’s professional athletes do not appreciate the honor of their positions, conducting themselves, both on and off the field, in a manner unworthy of respect. It is time America held her professional athletes responsible for their actions, and it is time these athletes’ behavior reflected the privilege of their prominent positions.

In his attempt to win back public favor, Michael Vick has conducted a number of interviews, including one last Sunday night on 60 Minutes. During these interviews, Vick repeats various versions of statements like, “I know I made mistakes and have done some terrible things and made a horrible mistake. [. . .] And, now, I want to be a part of the solution and not the problem.” Unfortunately for Vick, these assertions come off as completely unbelievable. His “apologies” appear forced, regurgitated, and extremely disingenuous, as though he isn’t sorry for the disgusting acts he has committed, but rather that he got caught.

According to Magna Sententia, we are all responsible for our behavior and must face the consequences of our choices. Because he completed his prison term, Michael Vick is a free man who should be allowed to earn a living, but not in a public position that influences society and represents our country.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Ask Anna & Ellie: Making Room For Your Mother-In-Law

Dear Anna and Ellie:

My mother-in-law, “Paula,” is really the sweetest woman and the best mother-in-law you could ask for. There is just one problem (and I hate to even call it that): She likes to give me “knick knacks” to display in my home, and even though I do appreciate her thinking of me, I really don’t like them. Not only are they not my taste, in my opinion, having all these little things displayed make the house cluttered. I like things neat and orderly without too much stuff.

What should I do? I would never want to make her feel badly or seem ungrateful, but I don’t want to keep pretending to like them because this has only made her give me more. Should I tell her? Or should I just bite my lip and be thankful that she is so nice to me?

Please help!

–Not Ungrateful

Dear Not Ungrateful:

You are quite fortunate to have a mother-in-law who is “really the sweetest woman and the best mother-in-law you could ask for,” and yes, please be truly thankful for her. Pursuing Magna Sententia means always trying to treat others respectfully, and considering how nice Paula is, it would be disrespectful of you to offend or hurt her over knick knacks.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a problem. Here’s a solution: Purchase a small-to-medium sized display case to match your decor, and use it to display as many knick knacks from Paula as will fit. The next time she is over, show it to her and say something along the lines of: “I bought this case for all of those nice things you’ve bought me, and when I look at it, I think of you.”

When Paula gives you additional items (or as the seasons change), rotate what is on display in the case, putting the items that don’t fit away in storage. That way, there is an upper limit on how many knick knacks are displayed, the “clutter” is contained to one space, and she will never think you are ungrateful.

Just view this as making room for Paula in your life, but honoring your boundaries at the same time.

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Writing Fridays: I’m Not Impressed With Secretary Clinton

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

As a woman, I am deeply disappointed with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s response to a student questioner at a town hall meeting in the Democratic Republic of Congo on Monday (“Question Riles Clinton; Translation Might Have Been Off“):

A male student rose to ask a question about Chinese financial contracts with Congo.

The student asked Clinton what President Obama would think of the deal, but pool reporters in the room said the translator made a mistake, posing the question as what would Bill Clinton think.

Clinton looked surprised when she first heard the translation in the headset, and then sharply replied, “You want me to tell you what my husband thinks? My husband is not the secretary of state, I am. You ask my opinion. I will tell you my opinion; I’m not going to channel my husband.”

Not only was Secretary Clinton’s response extremely rude, it also made it abundantly clear that she has no self-confidence. To many, as a former president, Bill Clinton’s views might be highly relevant in this situation, and if she preferred not to answer the question, all she had to do was say, “I feel uncomfortable speaking for my husband, but I believe. . .”

Moreover, her lack of poise and professionalism make her a terrible ambassador for America. Citizens of other countries judge our nation by our representatives, and on Monday, the citizens of the Congo encountered a seemingly bitter, impolite, self-righteous American Secretary of State, who in my opinion should be ashamed of herself.

To me, it is essential that women in high-profile positions conduct themselves above reproach because their behavior reflects on women in general. Our society has still not reached the point where gender discrimination is no longer an issue, and incompetence on the part of women in politics affects all women, especially those who are working hard every day to make this country great.

Lastly, if I were President Clinton, Secretary Clinton’s outburst would demonstrate to me a lack of respect, and more importantly, love. When we love someone, we don’t mind sharing their opinions with others when it is appropriate. Has Secretary Clinton ever thought that it is an honor both to him and to her that others even care about his opinion?

I think it is time for Secretary Clinton to take a deep breath and get control of herself. She is very influential, and her actions are not doing any of us any favors.

Anna Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Rules For Town Hall Meetings On Health Care Reform

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

Across the country, town hall meetings on health care reform are turning ugly. With understandably strong emotions on both sides of the debate, many attendees are shouting, pushing, and losing their tempers as they voice their concerns or support regarding Congress’s proposed changes to our current health care system. (“Specter Faces Hostile Audience At Health Care Forum“)

As a logic system for guiding behavior, Magna Sententia directly relates to every aspect of interpersonal relationships and social interactions, and if you are planning to attend a town hall meeting on health care reform in your community (and we strongly suggest you do), before you go, please consider the following standards for behavior:

Remain calm. Losing your temper does nothing to further your cause. While it is advantageous to express your views passionately because of the importance of the topic, yelling and screaming takes the focus away from the content of your message.

Clearly articulate your argument, and stick to the facts. Nothing ruins credibility more than wild accusations and exaggeration. For example, in the health care debate, calling your opposition “evil” or telling them they will be “judged by God” is completely inappropriate and calls into question the reliability of anything else you say.

Do not push, shove, or be destructive in any way. It is paramount that we treat others respectfully even when we strongly disagree with their position. Health care reform is an extremely emotional issue, and we must take extra care not to escalate the situation. Remember that there are honorable people on both sides of this debate, and we have absolutely no right to physically harm our fellow citizens or their property.

Treating others respectfully does not mean that we can’t fervently share our views. As Americans, it is our right to use our voices in a clear, confident manner to question and influence the decisions of our elected officials. In fact, it is our duty.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Ask Anna & Ellie: Teacher Troubled By Misbehaving Students

Dear Anna and Ellie:

I am a high school math teacher and have been for the past 18 years. I used to love my job, but now, as the new school year approaches, I am dreading it! The kids have no respect for their teachers anymore, and when I try to make them behave, their parents always take their side. Even if they don’t study or do their homework and do poorly on their tests, I fear failing them because of their parents and the administration. (I get in trouble if I fail too many of them.)

Kids used to be better behaved, the community used to be on the teachers’ side, and an “A” used to mean an “A.” Thinking about the way it is now compared to how it used to be almost makes me ill.

I don’t want to give up on the kids. It’s not their fault. But I don’t know if I can take it anymore. What should I do?

–Troubled Teacher

Dear Troubled Teacher:

First, thank you for all of your years teaching math. The children of our country are our future, and we appreciate all of your efforts to instruct and guide them.

Unfortunately, your story is one we hear quite frequently, and unless things change, no one will want to become a teacher because of the poor behavior of students and lack of parental support for teachers. More and more often, excellent teachers are choosing to find less stressful jobs where they are given more respect. This is a completely justifiable option for you as well.

It is our hope that more parents will start teaching their children proper classroom conduct, respect for others, and basic manners. For their part, in order for teachers to be trusted by parents, they must behave impeccably: When parents hear horror stories about teachers like former Nebraska middle school math teacher Kelsey Peterson (who is serving six years in federal prison for having a sexual relationships with her 12-year-old student), it is difficult for them to not to take their children’s side.

Under Magna Sententia, parents are responsible for their children. Consequently, if a child is misbehaving and disrupting his or her class, or not performing adequately, it is truly the parent’s responsibility to correct this behavior. If the poor behavior continues, there must be some real repercussions. Schools should expel or fail students who interfere with other students’ educations or can’t meet minimum academic standards.

Regrettably, until children’s behavior at school has real consequences and teachers hold themselves to a standard of behavior above reproach, your dilemma will play itself out daily in the lives of many of our best and most treasured teachers. Please let us know what you decide to do!

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Writing Fridays: Freedom, Personal Responsibility, & You

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

Magna Sententia places a great deal of value on personal responsibility (i.e. including the right people in your life, admitting and honoring your limitations, setting attainable goals for yourself, as well as taking responsibility for your daily needs, financial well-being, future, health, happiness, actions, and children). This sounds like a whole lot of work (and it is!), much more work than letting someone else take charge of all these things. So what’s the benefit? What has personal responsibility ever done for us?

Well, there is the simple fact that we get more enjoyment out of things (goods or services) we appreciate, and we can’t fully appreciate a good or service unless we understand its true value, which isn’t its price tag but rather the time, work, and sacrifice it took to acquire or perform it. There is no way to understand time, work, and sacrifice unless we have personally experienced them, and personal responsibility forces us to experience them. More personal responsibility = more appreciation = more enjoyment.

Also, we feel better about ourselves if our lives have meaning, and our lives can’t have meaning unless what we do matters. If we are responsible for whom we include in our lives, our daily needs and financial well-being, our health and happiness, etc., then our choices matter. More personal responsibility = more meaningful lives = more self-esteem.

But there is something even more important: namely, personal responsibility’s direct relationship to freedom. Very few people would argue with the notion that humans naturally desire to be free, and it’s easy to see why. With more freedom comes more choice, and thus more say in our futures. (And when applied to the economy, more innovation, production, and upward mobility, as well as higher standards of living overall, but that’s a topic for another day. Don’t even get me started on health care.) However, freedom has its price; there is no free lunch. If we are free to make good choices, we are also free to make poor ones. With the freedom to succeed comes the freedom to fail, and what we make of ourselves and our lives becomes our responsibility. (Even when bad things happen to us that are beyond our control, we are still responsible for how we handle it.) More personal responsibility = more freedom = more control over our lives.

It is also true that less personal responsibility = less freedom = less control over our lives. If we let someone else take responsibility for all of our needs, we will have little (or no) say in how they are met. We can’t have it both ways, and to me, the choice seems pretty obvious.

Ellie Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society