Ask Anna & Ellie: My Wife Threw Out My Stuff Without Asking

Dear Anna and Ellie:

My wife did something the other day that really made me mad, but she thinks I’m overreacting. What do you think?

A few weeks ago, I was mowing the lawn when my wife came out and told me that the clothes I was wearing were too “ratty” for the neighbors to see. I told her they are my work clothes, they are supposed to be ratty. I thought it was the end of it, but yesterday I came home from work and all of my work clothes were missing. I asked her about it, and she said she threw them out. I tried to recover them, but they were already gone.

This made me really angry, but my wife just doesn’t understand why. It turned into a huge fight. I said that taking my stuff without asking was disrespectful, and she said that I was lucky she actually cared about what I look like.

What do I do? I could end the fight by apologizing for what I said, but I don’t want to. Shouldn’t she have asked me first? Wasn’t that disrespectful?

–Missing My Old Shirts

Dear Missing My Old Shirts:

It is completely reasonable for you to be upset with your wife over this incident, but maybe instead of fighting about it, the two of you can learn how to communicate more effectively and relate to one another in a more positive way because of it.

We agree with you: Your wife throwing away your clothes without your permission is disrespectful (no matter what they looked like!). It is always disrespectful to assume that we can take another person’s belongings and do with them what we wish. (This applies to partners, parents, co-workers, neighbors, and everyone else!) However, your wife may not realize this, so this will hopefully be an opportunity for her to grow.

Given her response that you are “lucky she actually care[s] about what [you] look like,” she most likely never intended to be disrespectful at all. In fact, she may have had good intentions: She thought you needed new clothes, and the first step was getting rid of the old ones. Please understand, even if this is the case, we still disagree with your wife’s actions; we are merely throwing this out as a reason for her behavior, (even though this reason does not justify her poor judgment.)

To mend your relationship now, sit down with your wife and calmly explain to her that while you appreciate the fact that she cares about your appearance, you do not want her to just take your things (clothes or anything else!) and throw them away without your knowledge. Explain that by doing this, she makes you feel like she has no consideration for your desires, thus damaging the bond between the two of you. Remind her of a time in her own life when someone treated her in a similar manner, and how hurt she felt. If you can’t think of such a time, describe an experience of someone with whom you are both close. By doing this, she will be able to better understand how her actions made you feel.

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Writing Fridays: Kids Crooked House & Building Character

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

This last Monday, Jon and Kate Gosselin announced their separation on their reality show, Jon & Kate Plus 8. This has caused quite a stir, but apparently, their children’s expensive, custom playhouses from Kids Crooked House, which were featured in the same episode, are receiving just as much attention. (“Jon and Kate Plus 8’s Crooked Houses Cost Thousands“)

“‘Within 60 seconds of Kate saying the phrase ‘crooked houses’ on TV last night there were 170,000 visitors to our Web site,’” said Glen Halliday, the owner of Kids Crooked House, the day after the episode aired. “Halliday and his Web developers are still scrambling to process the influx in requests the company has received since last night, but said that so far they are estimating that half a million people logged on to the site yesterday and nearly 7,000 people have requested catalogs as of 10 a.m. ET today.”

The playhouses range in price “from $1,249 for an original model [. . .] to $5,000 for the starting price of a customized home. [. . .] Halliday estimates that the [four] homes delivered to the Gosselin family [. . .] were ‘at least $7,000 a piece.’”

Okay, I get the appeal of the homes, and I see why parents would be excited to give them to their children. In fact, I think Halliday should be commended for coming up with such a creative, innocent, activity-oriented product for children. The only thing that bothers me is why Halliday came up with “crooked houses” in the first place:

Halliday was watching cartoons with his own set of multiples — his now 9-year-old twin boys when he thought of a way to entice them to spend more time outside, an idea that turned into Kids Crooked Houses.

“When we were kids a cardboard box was all we needed,” said Halliday, who also has a 5-year-old daughter with his wife. “But now with five cartoon network channels and everything else, our kids spend so much time sitting on the couch I think their imagination is being force fed to them.”

“That’s how the idea was sparked, by seeing my kids becoming lethargic,” he said. “I kept asking, ‘why aren’t you outside?’ That’s what builds character.”

I am only twenty-something, and I don’t want parents to think that the overstimulated society we are living in requires them to give their children things in order to build their children’s character. Quite the opposite, all children need are rules: My siblings and I were all in high school/middle school before we were allowed to have video games, and our TV viewing was limited to one show of our choice a day, which my mom had to approve of.

She also forced us to play outside, and if we ever complained of boredom, she always replied, “If you’re bored, then I have plenty to keep you occupied. Why don’t you (wash the windows, clean the bathroom, give the dog a bath, etc.)?” Let me tell you, we learned really fast never to complain and, more importantly, how to create our own fun. We played with cardboard boxes, a lot.

Many children today are missing the ability to create their own fun, and I believe that this is partially caused by parents giving their children stuff, instead of having rules and spending quality time with them.

If you have the desire and financial resources to buy your children a “crooked house,” that’s great. However, if you are working two jobs just so you can afford to buy your children a “crooked house,” please remember that material possessions don’t build character or make children good people. I don’t have enough space in this article to list everything it takes, but I can assure you that “stuff” and an environment of entitlement definitely aren’t on it!

Ellie Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Update: Craigslist Killer’s Former Fiancée Moves On

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

On Monday, Phillip Markoff, the accused “Craigslist Killer,” pled not guilty to the charge of first-degree murder, despite what prosecutors say is overwhelming evidence against him. Notably absent from the courtroom was Megan McAllister, Markoff’s former fiancée.

According to her lawyer, Bob Honecker, McAllister has not seen Markoff since June 11, 2009. On that day, she “traveled to Boston to meet with the Suffolk Country District Attorney’s Office” and told Markoff “she planned to attend medical school.” (“Accused ‘Craigslist Killer’ Won’t See Former Fiancée for ‘Long Period of Time’“) She “also let him know that she did not expect to return to Boston and it would be quite a long period of time, if ever, before she saw him again.”

We commend McAllister for the manner in which she has conducted herself throughout this undoubtedly difficult time, and we want her to know that her resilient behavior is a tremendous illustration of what it means to treat yourself respectfully and protect yourself from unhealthy relationships, vital elements of Magna Sententia. We are proud of her for continuing to work toward her goal of attending medical school and becoming a physician, even though her life totally changed in an instant. So many of us would have found her situation debilitating.

While we know that this must be unbelievably hard for her, McAllister is setting such a wonderful example for all of us: By ending her relationship with Markoff, she is allowing the “court of law [to determine who] is the real Philip Markoff,” thus protecting herself from getting buried deeper and deeper into his problems and alleged destructive behavior. This is the smartest choice she could make, especially considering that “some of the details released in the last several days, particularly at the arraignment, were very disturbing.”

Megan McAllister’s situation is an albeit extreme case of finding yourself involved with the wrong person, but it does not lessen the value of making the decision to walk away from those who are hurting us, treating us disrespectfully, or making our lives miserable.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Ask Anna & Ellie: Desperate Dad Of Transsexual Daughter

Dear Anna and Ellie:

I’ve noticed you have a few articles about transsexuals on your website, so maybe you can help me with this. My 20-year-old son just told me he is really a girl. What in the world does this mean? He is every bit a male to me. He looks like a guy, talks like a guy, acts like a guy, and has even had a few girlfriends. How can be a girl? He says that he has been a girl all his life.

I don’t know what to do. Do I take him to a psychiatrist? Is there something wrong with him mentally? Is he sick? I just feel like I have been hit by a truck, and I don’t have any idea what to say to him, or how he expects to be a female when he is a male. He told me that his real name is Julia, which totally blew me away. Is he insane? God, I am scared to death.

What do I do? Where do I go for help? How can this be happening?

–Desperate Dad

Dear Desperate Dad:

We know it feels like you were just hit by a truck, but please know that there are so many parents who are struggling right along with you, and not only can you and your family get through this together, but your child can go on to lead a happy, fulfilling life.

First and foremost, you must believe your child (really, your daughter): If she says that she has been a girl all her life, she has really been a girl all her life. This can be extremely hard to understand, especially if you have not had exposure to this issue and your child has put up a “male” front all of these years so that she wouldn’t be rejected by you, the rest of your family, and society in general.

Let’s begin with the facts: Your son is a male-to-female transsexual, or transsexual woman. What does this mean? Transsexualism is “a condition in which a person identifies with a physical sex different from the one with which they were born.” (Wikipedia: “Transsexualism”) This means that the physical sex of transsexual people’s bodies does not match the gender of their brains. For instance, your child identifies as a women, even though she was born biologically male. Transsexualism has nothing to do with sex, sexual activity, sexual orientation, or mental illness. (There are heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual transsexual individuals.) On the contrary, there is increasing evidence that transsexualism is a medical condition that develops in utero and is “hard-wired” into the brain.

For example, one of the ways you can tell male and female brains apart is the “central subdivision of the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis (BSTc),” a part of the hypothalamus. (“A Sex Difference In The Human Brain And Its Relation To Transsexuality“) The BSTc is consistently “larger in men than in women,” and when researchers dissected the brains of male-to-female transsexuals (MTFs), they discovered that MTFs have brains with a “female-sized” BSTc. “This study [was] the first to show a female brain structure in genetically male transsexuals and supports the hypothesis that gender identity develops as a result of an interaction between the developing brain and sex hormones.”

Also, “regardless of sexual orientation, men had almost twice as many somatostatin neurons as women.” (“Male-To-Female Transsexuals Have Female Neuron Numbers In A Limbic Nucleus“) In a separate study, researchers found that “the number of neurons in the BSTc of male-to-female transsexuals was similar to that of the females” and “the neuron number of a female-to-male transsexual was found to be in the male range.”

Transsexualism is not a choice. Your child was born with a female brain and a male body, and there is nothing she can do to make herself identify as a man. Deep inside, she will always, always identify as female, and she must transition (live as her true gender) for her own well-being.

You may be confused by this because of the persona your child has built to protect herself from rejection. (Countless transsexual youths are abandoned and/or horribly mistreated by their families.) Personally, we have spoken with numbers of individuals just like your child who pretended to be something they were not because they felt they had to in order to survive. This is something that has to be worked through because if one member of the family has never been able to be her true self, all of the family relationships are affected and will have to change for the family as a whole to move forward. As one of our dear transgender friends once told us, “During transition, while it seems that we are the ones transitioning, it really is everyone else surrounding us who has to change.”

To help Julia start her transition, use the “Resources” page of Gender.org to help her find a therapist in your area who specializes in gender identity disorder. It is extremely important that you find an informed, quality healthcare professional who knows the ins and outs of the transition process and can serve as a guide for your daughter and family. (Another excellent web resource is TSRoadmap.com.)

Down the road, we hope you can get to a place where you can embrace your child in her new role as your daughter. You will have to mourn the loss of your son to do this, and please allow yourself this time, as it is probably the only way you will be able to truly move forward. When you are ready, we know it would mean the world to Julia to use her new name, as well as the correct pronouns and nouns (she, her, daughter, etc.).

Remember, transition is a long, winding journey for everyone involved, and it is your child you love, not the role she played or image she presented in the past. Further, if you really want to know who she is, the only way this can occur is for you to fully support her transition.

Please utilize some of the wonderful resources available for transsexuals and their families, such as Trans Youth Family Allies. In addition, if there is ever anything we can do for you, please do not hesitate to contact us.

–Anna & Ellie

References
1. Kruijver F. P. M., Zhou J.-N., Pool C. W., Hofman M. A., Gooren L. J. G., & Swaab, D. F. (2000). Male-to-female transsexuals have female neuron numbers in a limbic nucleus. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 85(5), 2034-2041. [Abstract]

2. Zhou J.-N., Hofman M. A., Gooren L. J. G., & Swaab, D. F. (1995). A sex difference in the human brain and its relation to transsexuality. Nature, 378, 68-70. [Full Text, as reprinted in The International Journal of Transgenderism, 1(1)]

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Writing Fridays: Not All Fathers Deserve Father’s Day

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

Father’s Day is this Sunday, and until two years ago, it was a day that really turned my stomach: I have absolutely no respect for my own father, and whenever I heard advertisements about how deserving fathers are, how they have done so much for their families, how children owe it to their dads to honor them on their special day, I would literally get a sick feeling inside. I thoroughly resented these broad generalizations about the goodness of fathers because all across our nation, countless children have fathers who do not deserve to be honored, let alone the title of “dad.”

To me, a dad is a father who loves his children and never gives up on them, a father who takes time to understand his children and build a close relationship with them, along with encouraging, disciplining, and emotionally supporting them, even if they make mistakes and lose their way. Regrettably, multitudes of children do not have the faintest idea what it means to have such a father, and for those children, Father’s Day is a day that can make them feel guilty for disliking their father and sad for the loss of what they never had.

I am the first to admit that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, and if you have children of your own, you know firsthand that flawless parenting is an impossibility. Good fathers are not perfect and will make mistakes, but when they do, they apologize, work to make things better, and always try their best. They are loving, caring, and admit when they need a little help along the way.

Thankfully, my sour feelings toward Father’s Day have slowly disappeared, and there is a clear reason for this change: my husband. He is the type of father I wish for every child: warm, patient, strong, responsible, respectful, and most of all, loving. I often wonder how I was fortunate enough to be blessed with such a wonderful man as the father of my children, and as the years go by and life’s struggles continue, he never falters from being the most honorable man I have ever known.

So, for all of you out there who cannot respect your father (and those of you who want nothing to do with your father), please know that I understand how you feel. You are not a bad or ungrateful person because your father treated you poorly and you don’t want to “honor” him on Father’s Day.

May I suggest that instead of feeling down this Father’s Day, give yourself the gift of forgiveness – not for him, for you. In Magna Sententia, forgiveness is defined as, “Letting go of yesterday so that you can have today.” You can’t change the past or make your father someone he isn’t, but you can change how you respond to his actions. This year, take your first steps in healing.

Anna Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Free Audio Book: Magna Sententia Reading 29

Click on the following link to listen to the latest episode of the free audio version of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society:

Part Four: The Axiom Of Realistic Expectations,

Chapter Eleven: The Axiom Of Realistic Expectations In Your Life –

Part Five: Magna Sententia In Your Life;

Pages 281 – 287

Find out more about Magna Sententia.

“Palin Accepts Letterman’s Apology” For Inappropriate Joke

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

Yesterday, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin formally accepted David Letterman’s apology for making an inappropriate joke about her teenage daughter on his show two weeks ago (“Palin Accepts Letterman’s Apology“):

“One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game, during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.” The joke seemed directed at Palin’s 18-year-old daughter Bristol, who is an unwed mother. However, it was Palin’s 14-year-old daughter, Willow, who accompanied the governor to [the Yankee game]. Letterman later explained he had confused the two daughters and had Bristol in mind when he made the joke, but Palin interpreted it as directed at Willow.

Palin felt that Letterman’s joke was in reality a “degrading comment about a young woman” and expressed her concern that this type of remark contributes to “young girls especially hav[ing] such low self-esteem in America.” She asked “the public to rise up in opposition,” and some of her supporters “have called for Letterman’s firing.”

Personally, we are not sure that we would go so far as to have Letterman fired, but we think his “joke” was certainly in poor taste. Our society has long forgotten the importance of treating others respectfully, and on many occasions, comedians go too far with their humor. Letterman should have known better than to make either Bristol or Willow the punch line of a sexually-charged joke.

As a society, we need to reevaluate what we consider funny: Teens and young adults have a difficult enough time growing up in today’s stressful world, and the last thing Bristol or Willow need is some comedian making fun of them in front of the entire country.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Ask Anna & Ellie: Fading Friendships

Dear Anna and Ellie:

I was hoping you could give me some advice.

I have been friends with this girl for a few years now. Lately, we’ve been drifting apart. I’m not sure what to do about it. We used to be really close and would talk all of the time. Now, we barely communicate, if at all, and most of that is just one-way: me-to-her. I’m honestly not sure what her deal is. I try to find out what’s going on with her, but she is usually either very vague in her answers or non-responsive.

The thing is though, this really hurts. It hurts a lot. I thought we were good friends; not best friends or anything like that, but good enough. I don’t get why she isn’t really talking to me anymore. I’ve always tried to be a good friend to her. You know, be there if she needs someone to talk to, give advice and all that. So, I don’t think I did anything wrong to ruin the friendship.

We’ve been growing apart for awhile now, but it got worse when she got a boyfriend. I’m not asking for constant attention. I don’t care about that at all. I just wish that when she did talk to me, or I guess text because she’s refused to talk on the phone because she “doesn’t like it” but she knows I don’t like texting, I want to be acknowledged as an actual human being – not just someone who you talk to when you need something.

The problem really isn’t how she is acting (I know it’s crap and I don’t deserve to be treated like this), it’s how I’M acting in response to it. I know it’s basically over between us, and a big part of me just wants to say screw it and move on. I wish I could do that. But there’s always this part of me that doesn’t want to give up hope or give up the friendship, even though it just makes me feel bad and it sucks.

I feel like I’ve put so much into trying to be a nice person, and have spent a lot of time interacting with this person, I’d feel like I’d just wasted the last few years when I could have been looking for a better friend. I wish it was back to the way it used to be. I know that’ll never happen.

What can I do to just move on?

–Hurting

Dear Hurting:

The fact that you understand the real issue is your response to your friend’s behavior shows us that you are approaching your problem in a healthy manner and that you are really thinking things through. We’re proud of you! Also, you sound like someone who takes their friendships seriously, and that is a wonderful (and unique) quality. Unfortunately, many people do not truly value their friends and loved ones, which is very sad. We know that sooner or later you will find some really special people to include in your life.

Before we address you moving on, are you absolutely sure your friendship is over? It has been our experience that over the years, the nature of many of our relationships change: If we know someone for long enough, there are bound to be times when our relationship is closer as well as more distant, even though the underlying friendship still exists. On the other hand, there are friendships that fade away, and in these cases, it is best to let go and not hold on to something that isn’t really there. You will have to judge this particular friendship for yourself.

Moving on is a challenge, and it takes time, especially when we miss someone very much. We know you are deeply hurt, but please do not think that the last few years of your friendship have been a waste. Obviously, you enjoyed your time with her, and she most likely enjoyed her time with you (if not, you would have stopped hearing from her long before now). The fading of your friendship does not mean that she never cared about you; it just means that for her, life has gone in a different direction, and she needs to concentrate on other relationships (her new boyfriend) and areas of her life.

Since she does not share the details of her life with you, there is no way for you to know what is going on with your friend. It could be a multitude of things, and in all probability, none of them involve you (although we know that doesn’t make it hurt any less). All of this does not make her bad or you unworthy of a good friend, it just means that your friendship may have run its course.

The first part of moving on includes allowing yourself to mourn the loss of your friendship: Cry. Let yourself feel the pain of your loss. Then write a letter to your friend (that you won’t send) telling her how much she meant to you and that you are really going to miss her. After the letter is completed, do something with it symbolizing that you accept the fact that the friendship is over (put it away in a special place, bury it, etc.). Give yourself a specific time frame for mourning (but no longer than a few days). When the mourning period is over, it is over. After that, try your best not to think of your friend, and when you do, say something to yourself like, “Goodbye (your friend’s name), I wish you well.” This will help you let go.

After grieving your loss, you will have an empty space in your life that you need to fill. (If you don’t fill it, you will only remain sad.) When people move out of our lives, there is often more room for others we didn’t even notice or know existed. How are your other relationships? Are they as close as they could be? Maybe now would be the perfect time for you to make the good relationships you do have even more meaningful by spending more time and effort on them.

Also, take this opportunity to seek out new experiences and relationships. What are your hobbies? Are there any hobbies you have always wanted to try? Enroll in some fun classes where you can easily meet others who share your interests (cooking, gardening, sewing, hiking, painting, a political cause), and make an honest effort to form new friendships. Again, this will take extra effort, but you will meet some nice people if you give it enough time.

We know you may find this difficult to believe today, but the old adage, “Time heals all wounds,” will be true for you. You seem much too thoughtful of a friend to be lonely for very long. The people you do have in your life are very lucky to have you, and your new friends will surely be happy when you find them!

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Writing Fridays: Lasting (Not Disposable) Relationships

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

(Note: In this article, I am not talking about unhealthy relationships or people who treat you poorly.)

Lately, I have talked with numbers of people who have been greatly hurt by supposed friends and loved ones quickly ending their relationship without giving a clear reason or opportunity to work it out. These individuals are left not only wounded, but also confused as to why the other person apparently just gave up on them. Unfortunately, this seems to be more of a trend than a freak occurrence, and I believe we would all have more meaningful lives if we remembered that there is something to weathering the storms together.

We live in a disposable society, and I think this mentality has a tendency to bleed into our beliefs about relationships: After all, there are so many options out there that if our relationships aren’t working how we think they should/imagined they would, it makes sense that we would try to find something or someone better, right?

But what is better? Sure, new relationships are usually painless and exciting, but over a long enough time period, life inevitably gets messy. Old problems just get replaced with new ones, and if we are always jumping ship, we can never achieve a sense of security, which is essential to confidence and peace. Maybe we need to shift our focus from what is missing in our current relationships to what can be done to improve them. Perhaps loyalty is better.

Ellie Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Update: “Pregnant Man” Gives Birth To Second Child

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

With the birth of Thomas Beatie’s second child, it is important to remember to treat Beatie and his wife, Nancy, respectfully, regardless of your feelings about them. According to Magna Sententia, we treat others respectfully whether we actually respect them (hold them in esteem) or not.

As you may recall, the Beaties gave birth to their first child, a daughter named Susan, on June 29, 2008, garnering a great deal of both positive and negative attention throughout the world. To fully appreciate Thomas and Nancy Beatie and their situation, please see our previous article featuring his transition and their history together, “Treat The ‘Pregnant Man’ Respectfully, Even If You Disagree With His Choices.”

Due to so much misinformation and judgment, it bears repeating that transsexualism is not about sexual activity or sexual orientation. It is a medical condition in which the physical sex of a person’s body does not match the gender of his or her brain. Transsexual people do not choose to be transsexual; they are born transsexual. If you ever have the opportunity to meet a transgender individual, you will see for yourself the tremendous courage and strength this community has, as well as the kindness and sensitivity they possess because they have had to endure so much.

Considering the extensive coverage of Beatie’s pregnancies and births, he has an enormous responsibility to the transgender community to handle himself with grace and understanding because unfortunately, many in our society will judge all transgender individuals by his actions. For this reason, in our previous article, we expressed the hope that the Beaties would always “conduct themselves in an exemplary fashion,” and to this date, they have, and we commend them for this.

We congratulate Thomas and Nancy Beatie on the birth of their little boy, and we wish them many years of happiness together as they raise and enjoy their children. Additionally, it is our hope that America is kind to this young family and treats the Beaties respectfully, the way all of our fellow citizens deserve to be treated.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society