The Axiom Of Realistic Expectations
Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior
By Having Realistic Expectations
For Themselves, Their Lives, And Others
I read an article the other day that used the phrase “longtime loves” to describe a couple who had been together for four years, and it kind of took me aback. Maybe it’s just me or the fact that my parents have been together for almost 30 years now, but I don’t think “longtime loves” quite applies to a four-year relationship.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I do not mean to discount this couple, their relationship, or any relationship of similar length. After four years, they could have a very meaningful relationship and made a long-term commitment. It’s just that in my opinion, the “long-term” hasn’t happened yet.
It seems as though we have become a society of serial monogamists, and my worry is that by using (or misusing) labels like “longtime loves,” we are only continuing to lower our societal standards of long-term commitment. Publilius Syrus, a great writer of moral maxims, once said, “Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is.” This is true of our society as well: The way in which we term and discuss our relationships impacts our expectations.
I do not believe that people should live out their lives unhappy in relationships that truly aren’t working, but on the other hand, we have to realize that good, lasting relationships take work. Things will not always be romantic or perfect, and I have learned from my parents’ example that to stay together, you have to be able to wade through all of life’s tribulations together.
Ellie Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society
