No One Should Get Romantically Involved With Drew Peterson, Much Less Marry Him!

The Axiom Of Realistic Expectations

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Having Realistic Expectations

For Themselves, Their Lives, And Others

Once again, former Chicago Police Sergeant Drew Peterson is in the headlines, and surprisingly, it is not because he is under investigation in another woman’s disappearance or death. It’s because apparently another woman has fallen victim to his charms and agreed to marry him. (“Peterson Plans To Wed Mystery Bride, 23“) (For those of you who are unfamiliar with the case, Peterson “is a suspect in the disappearance of his fourth wife, Stacy, and the homicide of his third wife, Kathleen Savio.”) According to Derek Armstrong, author of Drew Peterson Exposed, Peterson’s “future bride was a former fan of his who first introduced herself to him through handwritten letters.”

One of the goals of Magna Sententia is to teach individuals that they are the only person on Earth who is responsible for their own life. An important element in successfully meeting this responsibly is to have realistic expectations for your life, relationships, and decisions. Realistic Expectation Four, “Touch the flame once. Touch the flame twice. Only a fool would touch the flame thrice,” is specifically designed to guide you as you think through the ramifications of your choices before you act so that you can learn from past mistakes, as well as avoid the negative consequences of others who have taken similar actions.

Drew Peterson’s new flame would serve herself well to look at the facts surrounding his past, instead of only considering her experience with his confident and persuasive personality. (“Peterson’s Second Wife Recalls Threats“) For her own safety and well-being, she must rationally acknowledge that even if he didn’t kill his last two wives, marrying him is an extremely risky choice: He has already been married four times, one of his wives is missing, another died under suspicions circumstances, and the first two maintain that he cheated on them and was abusive and controlling. Why take the risk when there are so many other men out there whose backgrounds are pristine compared to Peterson’s?

This story takes “love is blind” to an entirely new level. (She sent him handwritten fan mail?!)

Always consider all of the information you have before making decisions. Remember that bad people rarely change, and poor choices generally produce consistently negative results. Use the lessons you and others have learned to make your life better.

That said, this advice is not to be confused with situations in which family and friends discourage a romantic relationship on grounds that are entirely subjective. Consider my own experience: I met my husband when I was just 18 years old. We started out as friends who enjoyed one another’s company, but as the story goes, one thing led to another, and we grew to love each other. Only, there was a problem (some thought, anyway): I was 22 years his junior. I received advice from everyone I knew, many of them telling me that even if I was happy now, some day in the future I was really going to be sorry if we married, not because of him, but because of our age difference.

I’m sure glad I refused to listen to what others said since today we are still married, we have three wonderful grown children, and I love him more now than I did way back then. The point is that the advice I received was subjective and based on superficial traits, whereas the advice to steer away from Drew Peterson is based on facts and others’ direct experience with him.

Anna Sherise
Co-Creator of Magna Sententia
Co-Author of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. This article is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Audio Book: Magna Sententia Reading 8

Click on the following link to listen to the latest episode of the free audio version of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society:

Part Two: The Axiom Of Responsibility,

Chapter Four: Taking Responsibility For Your Children,

Sections: Parenting Fundamentals – Directing Your Home;

Pages 69 – 77

Find out more about Magna Sententia.

Appalled By Gov. Blagojevich & Other Headlines? Then Let’s Do Something About It!

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

Everyone seems shocked and appalled when corrupt politicians like Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich are finally exposed. (“Obama Says Staff Had No Role In Illinois Governor Scandal“) Why?

Why is anyone surprised? We all know that we live in a world where depravity runs rampant. Just look at yesterday’s headlines: “Trio Guilty In Deadly Bank Robbery Spree,” “Cop In Child Porn Probe Kills Self Behind Church,” “Middle Schoolers Suspended For Sex Activities In Class,” and last but not least “Georgia School Staff In Trouble Over Inflatable Mattress Sex.” Every day, the headlines are the same song, second verse, and we continue to do nothing about it.

Everyone seems to have forgotten that the individual has the power to change the group. This is the foundation of Magna Sententia: the belief that every person has the ability to make a positive (or negative) difference in not only his or her own future, but also our future as a society.

Here’s the truth: Every single citizen of our country needs to take an inventory of what they believe, how they act, and what they choose to accept as appropriate behavior in others. The reason we have “authorities” falling off of their pedestals day in and day out is because we as a society have ignored the standards that are necessary for our survival. We would rather argue over whose religion is best and which political party makes us superior to the other half of the country than get our own acts together and take responsibility for ourselves, treat ourselves and others respectfully, and do our best to serve our families, employers, and communities.

President-Elect Obama is correct: Blagojevich should resign. Further, we need to use Blagojevich (and others like him) as a catalyst in our own lives to do better. It is up to us to build a country of citizens who are honorable, both in public and in private. We must throw out the apathetic attitude we have developed and start caring about our actions and their greater ramifications.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Oprah’s “How Did I Let This Happen Again?” Gives Everyone Something To Think About

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

After reading Oprah’s article “How Did I Let This Happen Again?” detailing her ongoing difficulties with food addiction, weight gain, and stress management, we felt that not only is it admirable for her to be so candid about her troubles, but also that we could all learn something valuable from them. The following is an open letter to Oprah, which we hope will help anyone who is struggling with a busy, stressful life.

Dear Oprah,

Thank you for once again being a positive example for all Americans by openly discussing your struggles and trying to move forward to create a healthier and happier life for yourself.

We know that even though from the public’s perspective it may look glamorous, in reality you have an incredibly hard and demanding life. In addition to the stress of running Harpo Productions, checking up on your school in South Africa, and everything else your work involves, your life is played out in front of millions of viewers every day. People treat you like you don’t have feelings: Any misstep or extra pound is photographed, circulated, and talked about as if you are somehow superhuman in your ability to cast a deaf ear to all of the gossip and talking-head commentary. Anyone else in similar circumstances would find it very difficult to healthfully manage her stress level, and it is important for you to remember that you are only human.

We’re sure that you get more advice than anyone would want to hear, but as the creators of Magna Sententia, we come at life from a different angle, and it just might be of some help:

Give yourself a break. You mention that you are mad at yourself and embarrassed. While this is understandable, please don’t be so hard on yourself. Almost everyone goes through times when their lives are imbalanced with too much stress and responsibility, and beating up on yourself only prevents you from discovering and carrying out the solution. You were on the right track in taking a break this past July; however, you need to do more than just relax for a month. You have to restructure your life. Your time in Maui was like time in the emergency room, and for a complete recovery, you must now focus on finding a new way to live that makes your health a priority.

Treat the disease, not just the symptoms. We have watched you over the years, and we have always been impressed that you never lose hope. You are always willing to try the next program or diet that might help. Unfortunately, in life, there is always a deeper issue when you have a persistent struggle with the same thing, and if you just treat the symptoms, the disease never goes away. Whether it is food addiction, alcoholism, or relationship drama, if the problem is continual, there is something more to solve still buried underneath.

To get at any underlying issues, you have to make time to discern your true self. If done thoroughly, this could take a few years, so don’t rush yourself. It is only December, and you are already announcing your plan of action to the world. (You were just in the “emergency room” in July!) While it is admirable to try to make changes, you may not have given yourself long enough to sort out what is really the driving force behind your situation. (Based on our own experiences, it is probably a combination of continual stress coupled with emotional/unresolved issues from the past.) Don’t hurry into a new direction. Just sit with yourself for a while and really listen to you. Magna Sententia promotes being a friend to yourself, and that takes time and effort.

Make necessary life changes. When we have problems that return again and again, it is a sign to us that something needs to change. More than likely, Magna Sententia’s Realistic Expectation Five: “Too little you thirst – too much, you drown,” comes close to describing your life. Maybe you need to reduce the number of shows your company produces each season? While we empathize with the business ramifications of doing so, you must do what is best for you. You only have one life, and if you are always giving out and do not take time to rejuvenate yourself, you will always feel overwhelmed and exhausted.

Realize it is a tremendous challenge when your drug of choice is also something you need to survive. This is an area that we have direct experience with, and we know how difficult this can be. Stress just builds and builds until you find a way to release it, and when you, like so many of us, choose food to make yourself feel better, it takes a lot more than a new diet to teach your body a new way of relieving stress. (Physical activity and meditation are both excellent substitutes.) Unfortunately, you will probably always have to steer yourself away from emotional eating, so force yourself to make your new, healthy stress reliever a habit.

You have been, and continue to be, an advocate for compassion, and you’ve helped our society understand so much. Without you, many of us would remain uninformed, and it is time you started treating yourself with the same consideration you give to your viewers, your students in South Africa, and everyone else. Remember, you don’t have to have your problems solved in a day, month, or even a year!

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Free Audio Book: Magna Sententia Reading 7

Click on the following link to listen to the latest episode of the free audio version of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society:

Part Two: The Axiom Of Responsibility,

Chapter Three: Taking Responsibility For Yourself,

Section: Learning Vignette;

Pages 58 – 68

Find out more about Magna Sententia.

Ask Anna & Ellie: When Your Friend’s Girlfriend/Wife Damages Your Friendship

Dear Anna and Ellie:

I have a friend, whom I’ll call “Jeff,” who I would always hang out with. I had known him for a long time – over 7 years. We would do many things together: hiking, cycling, skiing, you name it. If it was outside, I knew I could count on Jeff to come along. He was a lot of fun to be around, and, since I am a very shy person, it was nice having someone to do things with.

However, a while back, Jeff got a girlfriend, making it so he was unavailable to hang out with. Of course it was only natural that this would happen, and I was happy to see Jeff so happy/thrilled. I am certainly not out to say that Jeff should spend time with me over spending time with his girlfriend, but as time has gone on, I do not see Jeff at all – especially after he married this girl. We do not talk, e-mail, or even run into each other at the store.

The last time I was invited to his home, some months ago, it was obvious his wife did not want me around. The resentment of my presence was palpable. I’m sure you can guess what happened next: I was no longer invited over. That was fine with me, being that I did not like his wife anyway. But soon after, whenever I invited Jeff to go biking or hiking, there was ALWAYS some excuse as to why he could not, thus it became rarer and rarer for me to ask him, which led to me not asking him at all.

I am not married and not in any relationships, so it isn’t like I could just ask my wife or girlfriend to come along with me. I’ve tried joining outdoor groups, but I can never seem to find one where there isn’t a lot of in-fighting. That makes it too stressful to enjoy even the most gorgeous scenery. There just isn’t something that is like it was when Jeff was around.

Is there anything I can do to get back in touch with my friend?

–Friend Is MIA

Dear Friend Is MIA:

We are very sorry to hear that your friend has chosen to end your friendship, especially after you have known one another for over seven years. You sound like a dear friend whom many would appreciate.

Unfortunately, there is really nothing you can do in this situation.

Even if you call Jeff and let him know that you miss his company or make an effort to get on his wife’s good side, in all probability, this will be a waste of your time.

We know it is painful, but the hard truth is that your friend is abandoning his friendship with you, and you will help yourself the most by coming to terms with this reality. Additionally, you must realize that this is not about you or something you did; it is about your friend. Please, do not take his actions personally.

Your letter is significant to us because you are male and it is rarely acknowledged that men are hurt just as much as women when their friendships end. A great deal of camaraderie is developed while playing golfing, hiking, hunting, watching football, and participating in other traditionally male activities, and it is essential that women recognize this. Girlfriends and wives do their partners and relationships no favors when they insist that their partners drop their friends (or make such a fuss that the friendships slowly fade away) because to many men, male friendships are an extremely important part of life.

Of course, there is the extreme, and we do not condone a man prioritizing his relationships with his friends over his relationship with his partner (e.g. “golf widows” and wives whose husbands have “drinking buddies” that keep them out all night, every night). However, in general, women should support their partner’s friendships with other males. It is unhealthy to isolate boyfriends and husbands from those who are important to them, and pursuing Magna Sententia means treating others respectfully, especially your partner.

Thoughts to consider: There are some people who prefer to have one meaningful relationship at a time, whether it is with a good friend or a partner. It could be that your friend hung out with you for all those years, and then when he met his wife, he wanted to be just with her. Granted, a friend is not a true friend if he drops you simply because he has a new relationship, but there are individuals like this. Alternatively, there are also people who are so weak that they allow their partners to isolate them and destroy their friendships. If this is the case with your friend, he has a lot more problems than you do.

We know it’s difficult, but please try to get out and make new friends. Even though you were unhappy with the groups you joined in the past, we encourage you to check out a few more. Although it will take time to find another friend you enjoy as much as you did Jeff, never give up hope: There is someone out there who will take great pleasure in your company and appreciate your friendship.

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Audio Book: Magna Sententia Reading 6

Click on the following link to listen to the latest episode of the free audio version of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society:

Part Two: The Axiom Of Responsibility,

Chapter Three: Taking Responsibility For Yourself,

Sections: Your Daily Needs And Financial Well-Being – Your Actions;

Pages 50 – 58

Find out more about Magna Sententia.

Magna Sententia Available On Google Book Search

Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society is now available on Google Book Search!

Please visit Google Book Search to learn more about the book, as well as see a free preview.