Free Audio Book: Magna Sententia Reading 5

Click on the following link to listen to the latest episode of the free audio version of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society:

Part Two: The Axiom Of Responsibility,

Chapter Three: Taking Responsibility For Yourself,

Section: Taking Care Of Yourself;

Pages 41 – 50

Find out more about Magna Sententia.

Nebraska’s Safe Haven Law Revised!

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

For those of you who have read our previous article “Nebraska’s Safe Haven Law Was Meant For Infants, Not Teens,” you may be interested to know that the Nebraska Sate Senate “met in an emergency session to change the [state's safe haven] law” and voted last Friday, November 21, 2008, to accept a revised version that “says that no child older than 30 days can be dropped off.” (“Nebraska Lawmakers Vote To Limit Safe-Haven Law“)

“Thirty-five children — all but six of them older than 10 — have been dropped off at Nebraska hospitals since the law took effect in September, according to the state Department of Health and Human Services. Five came from other states, with parents traveling to Nebraska from Michigan, Indiana, Iowa, Florida and Georgia. No infants were among the children left at hospitals, officials said.”

Our hearts go out to all of these children who undoubted feel completely unloved. “Tysheema Brown drove from Georgia to leave her teenage son at an Omaha hospital. ‘Do not judge me as a parent. I love my son and my son knows that,’ Brown said. ‘There is just no help. There hasn’t been any help.’” Sorry, but love is not abandoning your child by simply dropping him off at a hospital when he is already a teenager, when he is old enough to realize that you don’t even care who he ends up with. If you really can’t take care of your children and they are no longer infants, arrange a legal adoption so you can do your best to ensure they end up in a family that is secure with loving caretakers.

When are the adults in our country going to start acting like adults and stop looking for ways to avoid their legitimate responsibilities? It is amazing to us that every day people make another lame attempt to get out of doing what they should be doing. Magna Sententia is truly the logical cure for our society because it demands that individuals take responsibility for themselves and their children and it allows no excuses! If you are a parent, you and only you are responsible for your children until they are 18 years of age.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Violent Children Across America Confirm The Failure Of Many Parents Today

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

Reviewing recent headlines, we are left feeling as though our society is pretty far gone. We will be able to recover?

Parents are encouraging their toddlers to beat one another up and then posting the fights on YouTube. Don’t believe it? See it: “Terrible Toddler Fight On YouTube.” According to ABC News, there are numbers of videos posted on the Internet of toddlers hitting each other while parents or other adults stand by and watch, at times even “egging [the fight] on.” In the videos, the toddlers are screaming, crying, and occasionally bleeding. Some of the fights are clearly planned, as the toddlers’ parents have them in boxing gloves.

In Polk County, Florida, six cheerleaders “ambushed” one of their cheerleader “friends,” “viciously” beating her for “more than 30 minutes,” and then posted their attack on YouTube. (“Exclusive: Beaten Florida Cheerleader Speaks Out“) “17-year-old Victoria Lindsay told Good Morning America she thought she was ‘going to die’ on the night of the horrifying attack” at the home of one of her friends. The video is beyond disturbing, “show[ing] Lindsay literally backed into a corner and attempting to cover her head while the alternate pummeling her and yelling at her.” Tragically, Lindsay was “unable to avoid the blows and suffered a concussion and injuries to her left eye and left ear. One girl reportedly slammed her head into a wall until she lost consciousness.”

An eight-year-old boy in Phoenix, Arizona murdered his father and his father’s friend. (“Prosecutors Say 8-Year-Old Boy Methodically Shot Father, Friend“) Allegedly, the boy “methodically reloaded a .22-caliber rifle as he committed the crime, pumping at least four rounds of bullets into each victim.” There is still no clear motive: “Police Chief Roy Melnick of St. Johns, Ariz., originally suspected the boy had been abused, but he told the New York Times he found no evidence supporting that theory. The child had no disciplinary problems at school and showed no signs of being troubled.” Nevertheless, a judge didn’t think the boy should have to miss Thanksgiving with his mother and is allowing him to leave juvenile detention “from noon on Nov. 26 to noon on Nov. 28.” (“8-Year-Old: ‘I Shot My Dad’“)

A 14-year-old boy in Montrose, Colorado slit the throat of a 17-year-old girl as she was standing in a hallway at her school. (“14-Year-Old Boy Slashes Girl’s Throat At Montrose High“) “Police said [the] suspect was arrested moments later after running from the scene.” The boy, “who has a troubled past [ . . . ] was not a student at the high school.” “Investigators are still trying to determine a motive.”

Apparently, numbers of children today don’t have a clue as to what is right and what is wrong, in addition to being completely void of empathy and lacking an emotional connection to the consequences of their actions. Our nation’s youth are our future, and clearly, many parents are failing them. In the case of the toddlers, parents are instilling violence and brutality in their children. As to the others, children whose parents have raised them properly rarely commit such atrocities.

Pursuing Magna Sententia requires parents to do their utmost to raise children with character. While no one would say this is easy, as parents, it is our job.

If America’s parents continue to fail, America will fail.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Ask Anna & Ellie: Handling Professors Who Hit On You

Dear Anna and Ellie:

There’s this guy that keeps hitting on me all the time, and its really getting on my nerves. I try to tell him I’m not interested, but I’m worried about what he’ll do if I reject him. I don’t think he’s violent, but the problem is its one of my professors!!

I need this class to graduate, so I can’t risk getting a failing grade. Also, since tuition is so expensive these days, I cannot afford to retake it from a different professor next semester! I’m worried about my grades, but I’m really tired of this and just want it to end. I don’t know what to do!

I can’t tell my friends because it’s really embarrassing and I’m afraid they will do something to make the situation worse. I also don’t want to tell my mom because she may also make the situation worse than it already is. What can I do that gets this guy to stop flirting with me, preserves my B+, and keeps everything calm as it is, relatively speaking??

Thanks!

–Maybe Too Cute

Dear Maybe Too Cute:

We are sorry to hear that your professor is acting so unprofessionally. When people in positions of authority behave inappropriately, it usually makes life extremely stressful and difficult for others. Here are a few things to consider in solving your dilemma:

• Will you be forced to enroll in this professor’s courses in the future? If you are relatively certain that you will be able to avoid his courses in upcoming semesters, you will have to decide if you feel it is worth it to take action to stop his behavior. Taking action could (and most likely would) be challenging, and since at this point, he is merely “flirting with [you],” which we assume does not include inappropriate physical contact (e.g. putting his hand on your shoulder), it may be better for you to just hold on until the end of the semester and then never see him again.
• How severe is the situation? If you can’t make it until the end of the semester, you have to take one of his courses again, or he is inappropriately touching you, you need to take action. You can file a sexual harassment compliant with your school (most schools have an administrator who helps students with these situations), or you can go to the dean of your professor’s department and explain what is happening. Unfortunately, the going may get rough: Your professor may have friends in high places. Nevertheless, you need to protect and stand up for yourself. Your grades should not suffer for this, and your school should treat you with respect and properly discipline your professor.

Please know that you are not alone. According to a 2005 study conducted by The American Association of University Women (AAUW), “nearly two-thirds of college students experience some type of sexual harassment,” where sexual harassment is any “unwanted and unwelcome sexual behavior, which interferes with your life.” (“Colleges Grapple With Sexual Harassment Policies“)

Tell your mother. She is your parent and needs to know what is occurring in your life and at school. Even though you may not think your professor is violent, you can never be sure, and regardless of whether you choose to ride it out or take action, keeping your mother informed of this situation is a form of taking responsibility for yourself (part of Magna Sententia’s Axiom of Responsibility) because it is a necessary step in protecting yourself.

If your mother reacts in a way that you believe “makes the situation worse than it already is,” please accept her decision. College-age students sometimes do not have the life experience or maturity to handle an authoritative figure who is acting inappropriately. Technically, you are responsible for yourself, but it can be quite overwhelming when an adult in a position of authority shows interest in you as your professor is doing, and you may not have the skills to deal with him alone. We are not trying to make you feel badly; we just want you to know that there are times in life when you have to reach out to those who love you. Your mother (or another trusted adult) may be able to help in a way you have not considered.

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Free Audio Book: Magna Sententia Reading 4

Click on the following link to listen to the latest episode of the free audio version of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society:

Part One: Preliminaries,

Chapter Two: The Logic Of Magna Sententia –

Part Two: The Axiom Of Responsibility,

Section: Introduction;

Pages 29 – 40

Find out more about Magna Sententia.

Anna’s Tips For Losing Weight: “Huntington, W. Va. Nation’s Unhealthiest City”

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

Those of us who use Magna Sententia to guide our lives understand the importance of the Axiom of Responsibility, which includes taking responsibility for ourselves. Still, even though we know that no one else in the world can answer for us, sometimes taking responsibly for every aspect of our lives, such as maintaining a healthy weight, can be extremely challenging. Just ask the residents in Huntington, West Virginia:

“Nearly half of the adults in metropolitan Huntington are obese – an astounding percentage, far bigger than the national average in a country with a well-known weight problem.” (“CDC: Huntington, W.Va. Nation’s Unhealthiest City“) “Huntington leads in a half-dozen other illness measures, too, including heart disease and diabetes. It’s even tops in the percentage of elderly people who have lost all their teeth (half of them have.)” Unfortunately, Huntington is not alone. According to “Ken Thorpe, an Emory University health policy professor who is working with West Virginia officials on health reform legislation,” although Huntington residents “‘may be at the very top, [. . .] obesity and diabetes trends are very similar’ in many other communities, particularly in the South.”

While health officials feel that “culture and history are at least part of the problem,” it is my personal belief that many people do not know how to manage their weight. It is quite easy to become overwhelmed by the abundance of healthy living/weight loss information (both accurate and inaccurate) that inundates our lives through television, radio, magazines, books, and the Internet each and every day. I believe this because I’ve been there myself.

When I was in my early 30s, I knew I had to do something about my health and weight because I felt very out of shape and had never shed all of the weight I’d gained during my three pregnancies. In all honesty, I didn’t even know where to start! After reading nearly every dieting book in our local library, researching prepackaged diet foods, and visiting weight loss programs, I found myself even more confused than ever. Fortunately, I did not give up, and although it took me about five years, I learned some basics along the way that helped me to lose thirty pounds and keep them off (for over ten years):

• Find an activity you enjoy, and get up and move every day: My neighbor asked me to start walking with her in the morning after our children left for school. I thought it would be great, until the first morning when neither one of us could make it around our block without frequent stops and a lot of heavy breathing. That day, I made a vow to myself to move my body every day, and it has really helped me stay in shape. You can walk, jog, swim, ride your bike, jump rope, anything! Decide with your doctor which form of exercise is best for you, and use his or her expertise to set your personal exercise goals.
• Practice portion control: I used to pile food on my plate and never listened to my body when it told me I had eaten enough. I was shocked when I found out how tiny portions should be according to USDA Dietary Guidelines, and I took steps to gradually teach myself what a reasonable portion was for me. Enlist the guidance of a knowledgeable nutritionist to determine your individual dietary needs.
• Don’t skip meals, and never starve yourself: I found that if I skipped breakfast, I was hungry all day long. Now, I start my day with a satisfying breakfast, enjoy a light lunch, and have a healthy dinner. Some people I know eat six small meals per day, and they maintain their weight without any problems. Again, talk to your doctor and/or nutritionist, and formulate an eating plan that will work for your lifestyle and budget.
• Exercise and nutrition do not have to be expensive: Sure, you’ll be tempted by advertisements like KFC’s “$10 Challenge,” but keep your nutritional goals the priority. Find ways to eat healthfully, even on a limited budget – I know it can be done!
• Quick fixes never last: Not only are fad diets typically unhealthy, but they also don’t teach you healthy eating habits for the long term. Just take it slowly, do your best, and eventually you will lose weight and improve your health.
• Deprivation usually backfires: After you’ve reached your weight and exercise goals (that you and your doctor set), it does not hurt to indulge a bit on holidays and special occasions. Just don’t go overboard, and get back to business again the next day. (Of course, this does not apply if you have medical issues such as diabetes.)
• Sit down to eat, and make meals an event: It is so easy to lose track of the amount you are eating if you eat in the car or while working. Take a few moments to relax and enjoy your food, and you will be able to listen to your body and its full signals more carefully. Also, taking time out (even 15 minutes will do!) to enjoy your meal leaves you feeling refreshed.
• If you are prone to emotional eating, take care of the root problem: If you eat to make yourself feel better, you will never be able to stick to a healthy eating plan without first solving the underlying problems that are bothering you. This may require a great deal of inner work. Please seek the assistance of a licensed counselor or therapist if this is what you need.

Let me and Ellie know how you are doing. We would love to hear not only your success stories, but also lessons you want to share with others.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Disclaimer

Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. This article is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

USDA Website Disclaimer

The recommendations in the Dietary Guidelines and in MyPyramid are for the general public over 2 years of age. MyPyramid is not a therapeutic diet for any specific health condition. Individuals with a chronic health condition should consult with a health care provider to determine what dietary pattern is appropriate for them.

Please Treat The “Pregnant Man” Respectfully, Even If You Disagree With His Choices

The Axiom Of Respect

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Treating Themselves And Others

Respectfully And Respecting

Only Those Who Earn It

Tonight at 10 p.m. ET, Barbara Walters’ interview with Thomas Beatie, the “controversial ‘pregnant man’” who is currently expecting his second child, will air on the 20/20 special “What Is a Man, What Is a Woman? Journey of a Pregnant Man.” (“Barbara Walters Exclusive: Pregnant Man Expecting Second Child“) This will be Beatie’s first interview since giving birth just four and a half months ago (June 29, 2008) to his first child, a daughter named Susan.

Beatie’s first pregnancy provoked an array of differing emotions and reactions worldwide, with responses ranging from “death threats, and thousands of hateful comments” to “letters and gifts from all around the world, from gays, lesbians, mainstream American and beyond.” Closer to home, he and his wife, Nancy, “found acceptance among their Oregon neighbors who threw a baby shower for [him] a few weeks before his due date.” Now, his second pregnancy seems to be getting equal, if not more, interest, and all that we ask is for you to please take a moment to look at the entire situation rationally before forming your opinion of the Beaties:

“Thomas Beatie was born Tracy and grew up in Hawaii. A beautiful young girl, Thomas Beatie says he never felt particularly feminine growing up. ‘I felt rough and tumbly. I didn’t like frilly stuff. [. . .] Back then I did not see an attractive young girl. Putting on makeup, I felt like I was putting on a costume.’”

“In 1998, Thomas Beatie decided to change genders. Psychological testing confirmed that he identified with being a male and he began to medically transform his body.” After surgery, he “was legally allowed to change his birth certificate from female to male and his name from Tracy to Thomas.”

“In 2003, Thomas and Nancy Beatie were legally married, and like many couples, they decided to start a family. The couple wanted to have a biological link to their child, but Nancy Beatie had a hysterectomy. The couple did not want to hire a surrogate to carry Thomas Beatie’s harvested eggs, feeling no surrogate could be as conscientious as he.”

After great lengths, the couple finally became pregnant. Interestingly, Beatie “says that pregnancy did not make him feel more like a woman. ‘I did not feel maternal or motherly or womanly and pregnant. I felt like Nancy’s husband, and I felt like the father of my child.’”

Admittedly, for many in our society, this all sounds a bit over the top, but regardless of how individuals feel on a personal level about Beatie’s decision to bear children, abiding by Magna Sententia means treating him (and his wife and children) respectfully, just as we treat everyone else. Doing so may be challenging for some; however, we hope to aid in this process by providing some understanding about Beatie’s transsexual history and what that means.

As mentioned in “Diane Schroer: Congratulations On Your Contribution To Transgender Rights!” and “Parents Do Not Need To Fear Foxboro Elementary Music Teacher For Being Transgender,” being transsexual is not about sexual activity or sexual orientation. Rather, transsexualism is a medical condition in which the physical sex of a person’s body does not match the gender of his or her brain. Beatie did not choose to be transsexual: Transsexuals are born transsexuals. It doesn’t make any sense to mistreat or hate transsexuals for something they did not choose and cannot control.

At the same time, it is our hope that the Beaties conduct themselves in an exemplary fashion in all areas of their lives, from the way in which they present themselves and their situation to the public to how they raise their children. Due to the overwhelming attention his pregnancies are receiving, Beatie bears a great responsibility to the transgender community, as his actions will reflect on them as a whole. Unfortunately, this is a community within our country that is terribly misunderstood, and the “gradual acceptance” that they have worked so hard for and justly deserve can easily be marred by Beatie and his choices.

As Americans, we must treat all of our citizens respectfully as we work to understand those who are different from us: It is our duty, our privilege, and a course that unites our country and makes it stronger.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Ask Anna & Ellie: Nasty Mother-In-Law? Stand Up For Yourself!

Dear Anna and Ellie:

Well, she’s coming, and there is nothing I can do about it. She will go through my refrigerator and pronounce my purchases foolishness, she will critique my decorating choices and make snide remarks about how everyone else does it better, and she will sit at my kitchen counter and analyze how I make dinner.

My mother-in-law is coming for a week and I want to run away from home. I have three small children who I know should get to know their grandmother, a wonderful husband who I know should spend time with his mom, and a home that is large enough to accommodate her presence comfortably, so from the outside looking in, I seem to have no real problems and a very fortunate life. On the inside, however, I feel sick, nervous, and can’t wait for her visit to end. Very few people affect me like this. Is something wrong with me, or am I just an ungrateful, picky, daughter-in-law who needs to grow up?

–Ready To Run

Dear Ready To Run:

Please don’t run away from home. You will be able to get through the next week if you formulate a plan for interacting with your mother-in-law from a position of strength. Also, do not worry about what the situation looks like from the outside: From your description of her behavior, you have a legitimate problem. We don’t believe that you are ungrateful or picky, but we do think that you have some room to grow regarding your communication skills, as well as setting limits on what you allow others to do and say to you.

Your mother-in-law is treating you disrespectfully when she goes through your refrigerator, critiques your decorating, and hounds you as you prepare dinner, but you are forgetting that she is a visitor in your home and it is up to you to take control of the situation. In truth, you are the one who is keeping you powerless. While it may get ugly (hopefully only temporarily), you must treat yourself respectfully and teach her how you would like her to treat you. An important note: following Magna Sententia, you will treat your mother-in-law respectfully while standing up for yourself. We know this is easier said than done, but it is not impossible and for the most part just takes time and practice.

Here are a few tips:

• When she “pronounces [your] purchases foolishness,” clearly state that you, and only you, are responsible for the food you purchase for your family and that what she finds in your refrigerator is none of her concern: “I am very careful about the foods I buy for our family, and even if you disagree with my choices, I don’t believe it is your position to judge what we have in our refrigerator.”
• When she “make[s] snide remarks about how everyone else [decorates] better,” inform her that everyone has different decorating styles and this is yours: “I put a great deal of time and effort into creating the feel I wanted for each room and deciding how to make our home best suited for our family. While it may not be to your tastes, this is our home, and I would appreciate it if you would not criticize how it is decorated.”
• When she “sit[s] at [your] kitchen counter and analyze[s] how [you] make dinner,” stop her comments immediately: “People have their own unique ways of working in the kitchen, and this allows them to learn from one another. If you have a question about why I use a certain technique, just ask. And if I ever have a question, I’ll ask. I know you mean well, but it is quite distracting when you keep offering up your advice while I’m making dinner.”

Will you have the nerve to say all of these things right away? Probably not (and that’s okay). Just keep them in mind, and remember that you treat yourself disrespectfully when you allow others, including your mother-in-law, to make comments that bring you down. After you stick up for yourself a few times, you will find that it gets easier and easier. You will also start to feel better, and your family will notice the difference in your attitude and demeanor. Even though it can be tough, being strong is worth it.

–Anna & Ellie

Do you have a life or relationship question for Anna and Ellie? Do you want to know how Magna Sententia applies to your situation? Submit your question here!

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. “Ask Anna & Ellie” is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Handling Life’s Stickiest Situations Is Much Easier When You Have A Plan

The Axiom Of Realistic Expectations

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Having Realistic Expectations

For Themselves, Their Lives, And Others

It is commendable that Oprah has an “ethics dream team” to help teach her audience how to handle complicated social situations, but given the differing opinions of her experts Faith Salie and Randy Cohen, we believe Oprah’s viewers would receive a much greater benefit if they learned to follow Magna Sententia when responding to “life’s stickiest situations.” (“How To Handle Life’s Stickiest Situations“)

Magna Sententia is based on a system of logic and founded on the values of responsibility, respect, and realistic expectations. This makes your decision-making process smoother and important life judgments much easier to reach because when you weigh all of your decisions against a set of core values, you know that your decisions are consistent and have clear reasoning behind them and that the way you are running your life is rooted in principles that make the world a better place.

Let’s add Magna Sententia to the mix of Salie’s and Cohen’s opinions and see what you think:

Should Mary have told her friends that their spouses/significant others propositioned her? Magna Sententia’s Axiom of Respect includes three concepts: treating yourself respectfully, treating others respectfully, and respecting only those who earn it. In Mary’s case, she must focus on treating herself respectfully. When her friend’s spouse or significant other crossed the line and propositioned her, he treated her disrespectfully, putting her in a very uncomfortable position. Pretending that it didn’t happen, ignoring him, or avoiding him in the future are all extremely weak responses that will only make her feel badly about the situation and herself.

On the other hand, if she tells her friends about the inappropriate propositions, she can feel good knowing she is a person who is honest and straightforward in her friendships. (Note: this answer assumes her friends are really friends, not acquaintances.) Her being a true friend is more important than whether or not her friends want to know about their partners’ behavior. If her friends dislike her or treat her poorly because she “force[s] them to confront something formally” about their partners that they’ve already suspected, then they are not good friends. Treating yourself respectfully means forming genuine friendships that are based on honesty, trust, and open communication.

Should Michelle call the “12-year-old girl’s mother and let her know what’s going on”? Magna Sententia’s Axiom of Responsibility insists that you take responsibility for your children. Therefore, you are not responsible for other people’s children, and Michelle is not responsible for the 12-year-old girl. It is imperative for her to understand that her obligation is solely to her son:

If she were to call the girl’s mother, a myriad of difficulties could (and probably would) occur in her son’s life. Children, and parents who protect them no matter what they do, can be extremely cruel, and Michelle’s son could suffer mercilessly at the hands of the girl’s mother and “friends.” Furthermore, if she calls and her son faces backlash, he may never confide in her in the future. Michelle should take responsibility for her son by teaching him to protect himself and the importance of choosing his friends and girlfriends wisely, as well as working to maintain a close relationship with him. As he grows up, he will need to know how to handle this type of situation on his own, without direct parental involvement.

How does McAulay “put [her customers] in their place and still not lose them as clients”? Magna Sententia’s Axiom of Realistic Expectations teaches that we must have an accurate outlook on the consequences of our actions. Since McAulay is responsible for her own actions and not responsible for the behavior of her clients, it is not her job to try to “put them in their place.”

In fact, confronting them will most likely only hurt her business for nothing, as she will probably lose them as clients and anything she says will have no effect on whether or not they continue to make sexist comments. Realistic Expectation Six states, “Never ask the moon to brighten your day,” meaning McAulay should not expect her clients to be something they are not (polite), and she must realize that it is up to them, and only them, to change their behavior. Moreover, if she is extremely uncomfortable day in and day out working with the customers in her current field, she may be well-served to find a different line of work with more polite and respectful clients.

How does Kristen recover from her e-mail mishaps, namely “accidentally replying to the person [she's] gossiping about in the e-mail” and sending a “company proposal directly to [her] competitors”? This is another instance in which the Axiom of Respect directly applies. Treating others respectfully definitely does not include gossiping about them, whether or not they find out about it.

Kristen doesn’t just need to stop gossiping in e-mails, she needs to stop gossiping period. Gossiping is not only treating others disrespectfully, it is destructive and mean. As far as sending valuable information to her company’s competitors, she needs to slow down and concentrate so that she treats her employer respectfully in her work.

Should Patti tell her girlfriends the truth when they ask her opinion about their “bad boy” boyfriends? Should Lindsey tell her friend that she has bad breath? And should Sarah tell her friend “she’s wearing clothes that are completely inappropriate for her size”? All three of these ladies are in basically the same position as Mary. (Note: this answer also assumes their friends are really friends, not acquaintances.) In order to treat themselves respectfully, their friendships must be based on honesty and trust. As long as they are delicate and discrete in expressing their opinions, their girlfriends should understand that their thoughts are well-intentioned. Who else can be honest about these things, if not your girlfriends?

Life and the decisions it requires are much easier when you have a bottom line that makes sense and allows you to feel good about yourself. You can have confidence in core values, and as Rev. Dr. Peter Marshall (1902-1949) said, “Give to us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for – because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.” Magna Sententia provides you with clarity and something to stand for: The Axioms of Responsibility, Respect, and Realistic Expectations.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. This article is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.

Preparing For Unemployment: Use Today’s Choices To Make Tomorrow Better

The Axiom Of Responsibility

Individuals Demonstrate Valid Behavior

By Taking Responsibility

For Themselves And Their Children

“The U.S. Labor Department said [today] that the nation lost 240,000 jobs in October, worse than what Wall Street economists were expecting.” (“Employers Shed 240,000 Jobs In October, Unemployment Rate Hits 6.5%“) August and September job losses were also revised, “adding an additional loss of 179,000 jobs in those two months. In all, the U.S. economy has now lost 1.2 million jobs in the first 10 months of 2008.”

This is scary news for many of us, but based on my past experience with unemployment, we must not lose hope. Unemployment hit our family back in 1983, and while it was extremely stressful and required much sacrifice, we got through it and were able to fully recover. Here are a few things I learned along the way that may be of some help to you and your family:

First, if you still have your job, but think unemployment is a real possibility in your future, start preparing now. According to Magna Sententia, you are responsible for your financial well-being (i.e. living within your means), so put your family on a tight budget. Only purchase what are in fact needs, or essentials for living: food (scaled back to only what is necessary, no fast food, no restaurants), shelter and related costs (conserve electricity and water, no home improvement projects), and transportation to and from work (no extra trips or outings). During this time, do not spend any money on movies, concerts, extra television/cable channels, or other entertainment. Go through your expenses, and remove everything that is not critical to your survival. Additionally, if you are certain that you will lose your job, take steps now to reduce your housing costs.

This sounds depressing, but if you have the right attitude, you can have a lot of fun at home with your family, without spending money: Play games, watch DVDs that you already own, prepare meals together, and turn “chores” into family activities. As we say in our book, “The attitude people have when confronting their problems determines whether or not they are happy despite their problems.” Your success is dependent on the way you approach this challenge.

If you are already unemployed, remember that “this too shall pass.” My husband and I were in a very undesirable position when we were faced with this trial, and I know how worried you feel: My husband was working for an oil and gas company during the industry downturn of the early 1980s, and I was not employed at the time because I had chosen to stay at home with our four-month-old child. We had to sell our home at a loss and move into a much smaller one. I started working nights at a hotel, and my husband searched for employment all day, every day. He did not find employment for eleven months, and we were down to under $2,000 when he finally received a job offer.

We ate cornbread and pancakes for dinner, never went out in the evening, never purchased new clothes, made homemade gifts for the holidays, and learned to truly lean on one another. Looking back on that time, we wonder how we did it and, surprisingly, also realize that even though it was extremely difficult, we would not trade it for all of the money we’ve earned since. It permanently changed our marriage for the better: During that time, we became genuine partners.

Use your time of unemployment to come together with those you love while doing what it takes to survive. Remember, what is truly important is your marriage and family, and how you deal with strife: Keep your wits about you, grow as a person, and appreciate the good that comes your way. As they say on Battlestar Galactica, “All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.” Even in this economic crisis, our country is still the best in the history of the world, and even on our most difficult days, we can be thankful that we live in America.

Anna and Ellie Sherise
Creators of Magna Sententia
Authors of Magna Sententia: The Logical Cure for Our Society

Disclaimer
Anna Sherise and Ellie Sherise are not licensed or trained healthcare professionals, counselors, or financial advisors. This article is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to take the place of the care and advice given to you by your physician, counselor, other healthcare professional, or financial advisor. Sherise Media LLC, its members and representatives, specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this article and/or website.